You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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