Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
