rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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