now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
