i permit you to call me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
As shirtless as possible
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
