i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i now understand why vodka
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
