awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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