Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
