she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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