I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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