I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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