You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
