another moral hangover. fuck.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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