so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
