went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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