she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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