This is not my ceiling
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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