Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
