So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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