she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
