I just made out with a guy for $7.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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