She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
