420 ftw
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
