Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just gargled with NyQuil
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
