i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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