idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
