Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
