I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
