drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
