I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
