Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
