Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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