so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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