When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
