brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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