After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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