Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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