im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
