why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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