Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
