whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
