Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
