Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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