no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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