so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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