that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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