As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
