i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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