I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this boner is exhausting
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize