Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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