He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
