Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
