I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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