I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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