The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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