and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
