So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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