Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
