would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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